Intensity. My whole life has been a mosaic and conglomeration of one intense experience after another. Whether that was an intense relationship, with a lot of heat and love, or international travel or my opinions on world events, my life has often been fiery, passionate and active.
As a triathlete in college, I somehow got it into my head that something only counted as exercise if it involved at least 15 miles on a bike, 3 miles (at a minimum) of a run, or an hour in the pool. Nothing else really “counted” to me- so walking wasn’t an option, let alone walking meditation or hiking. I fell asleep in yoga when I was first practicing at my college gym at 7 in the morning. Whether that was because I was extremely sleep deprived or actually bored, I don’t remember. It wasn’t an uncommon occurrence for me to wake up really early to go train, come back, have breakfast and desperately want a nap at 9 AM, only to fight this plea from my body with a couple cups of coffee and a scone.
This life of imbalance, intensity and black and white thinking put me into overdrive, all the time. I was in a sorority, often active with events and frat parties. I was in a leadership position in everything I was involved with. I was a camp counselor for underprivileged kids. My resume is as long as the flight from SFO to Delhi. I was always doing something.
It wasn’t until my life unraveled around me when my love died that I saw this for what it was- a façade. I found myself trying to do all the things I had done previously with the same intensity but was instead crying constantly, on high alert just from walking through campus, and fantasizing about him coming back and it all turning out as a nightmare. I thought I’d wake up. Well, wake up I did, but in an entirely different way that happens when life slaps you awake.
The constant doing and achieving was a way to avoid the truest parts of myself – the part that longed for a spiritual connection with my body, mind, heart and spirit.
What I didn’t know then was that this unraveling was presented to me so that I could re-weave the threads of my life into something more wholesome, more connected and more in alignment with my true spiritual purpose.
From there, I started to embrace the difficult parts of my life- grief, sorrow, anxiety, turmoil and channeled them. I channeled them into art, creating, writing, music, yoga was an entirely new experience, connecting deeply with others, and seeing the world through entirely new eyes. What opened up for me was the beauty of my own being- the fact that I had been lost in society’s ideas of success and wellbeing became painfully clear.
I ended up choosing a life path that was entirely different from the medical school route I had previously planned. And a few years later, I found myself in India, living at an ashram, feeling so much joy because I felt accepted and loved unconditionally by those around me and most importantly myself.
So I want to know – what parts of yourself do you want to get to know better? The artist? The writer? The yogi? What’s getting in the way of you fully expressing yourself in this way? Maybe some de-programming is needed?
If you are craving a more meaningful life – one that is supported by healthy food choices and moderation, rather than the constant doing and going like I used to do, join me for my Alchemy Transformational Health Intensive Video Series. Here’s what I’ll be covering in the videos:
Week 1 launches April 2nd: Alchemy of the Body: Why we’re so confused about the food we eat, why it may not be your fault, and what to do instead. We’ll be talking about how to break through nutrition overwhelm, how to tell if your cravings are lifestyle or physiological in nature and how to take action today to create massive movement forward.
Week 2 is all about the Alchemy of the Mind: Breaking through the habits of the mind to create lasting success in our health, relationships, career, and spirituality. Many of us think, like I once did, that it’s only the big things we do that matter, when in actuality, it’s the little things. I’m going to teach you a new way of thinking so that you can actually do what you want with your life rather than dreaming about it.
Week 3: Alchemy of the heart: Stop selling yourself short, wake up to your fullest potential, love yourself everyday and grow through discomfort. This week will be all about becoming friends with yourself and treating yourself as you would your child or beloved pet. Plus, we’ll be talking about the fact that life is not all about being happy and what we can focus on instead to infuse joy into the every day nooks and crannies of our lives.
So I hope to see you at the Alchemy Video series! You can be sure you’re on the list by clicking here and opting in to hear from me! If you’re interested in the Alchemy Transformational Health Intensive, head on over here!
Once you sign up for the video series, join the private facebook group here. We’ll be gearing up for the videos and I want to hear from you there- your struggles, hopes, dreams and goals plus all the things you’d like to learn in the videos!
See you there!